Sucker: Punched

I FINALLY SAW SUCKER PUNCH!!!!

Okay firstly, I'm not big on critically acclaimed movies, nor ones that try/want to be. Name a classic movie and I will probably NOT have seen it. There was a memorable incident when an old, old friend of mine rattled off the names of about 19 movies that were super famous and super revered. I had seen zero.

I just can't tolerate too much mass-appeal. Don't get me wrong I'm no niche-lover. I will not watch a French movie about how a man loses his family to alcoholism and ends up getting hit by a car as he walks, lost, across a street. There probably is a movie like that. I wouldn't watch it. But I'm perfectly happy watching cheap, popcorn movies. Jason Statham flicks, every other Guy Ritchie movie, movies where things get blown up and there's pointless sex and awesome music that may or may not really make sense. I do like Quentin Tarantino movies but then, they have all of the above and are considered cool to like. Also I'm a geek. Throw in science-fiction or video-game inspired things or fantasy or stylized violence or ALL of the above and I shall go watch it.

Which all lead to me being INCREDIBLY excited about Sucker Punch. For those of you who don't know what the hell that is,

a) REALLY?!??! Wow. Isolated.

b) Here's a trailer:



c) Here's another:



I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?! Hot wimmenz, awesome music and batshitcrazy action!!

So how was it?


7.5 out of 10.

Many people would go here and think about the dialogue, the acting, the storyline, the point. To them I would say; "It's a movie with 5 hotties known more for their just-mentioned attributes more than their acting and it's CLEARLY banking more on that and the action and omg you total douche".

So. How'd I get to the score? By using.......MATH!!

Acting: 5

Out of the 5 lead wimmenz, only 2 could really sortve maybe act. The supporting cast however was much more believable.

Soundtrack: 9

AWESOME MUZAKXS

Action Sequences: 7

While they look totally super-mega awesome in the trailer, and being a fan of video-games and comics I totally appreciate crazy, over the top, stylized violence and physics-defiance; there is a thing as going TOO far. Like how Gambit could jump off an apartment block in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. HE CAN'T DO THAT IN THE COMICS!! COMICS ARE ALREADY BEYOND PHYSICS WHY TRY AND TAKE IT EVEN FURTHER!?!?

Just like that, there are some sequences, all involving the lead, where her acro and aerobatics get a bit too weird. I mean look, she's jumping over a katana, wielded by a giant stone samurai robot. I'm with you. But at least make it look like she means it! Why is she doing a backflip like a crazy, ninja BALLERINA?? Crazy ninja hottie is enough! Don't overdo it!!

Cast: 8

Everyone's hot and everyone's wearing hotter outfits. Dear dear me. Well, nearly everyone. Everyone except the lead. I just, wasn't into her. Didn't think she was hottest by far. Infact, she wasn't really very hot in my view. See for yourself:

Love

Love

Love

Love

Um. Not really.

Infact, I was SO not into her, that she might've brought the hot-rating down even further had it not been somewhat single-handedly rescued by the nerd-dream-come-true Madame Gorski:

May I please be excused..?

So there it is, my awesome, to the point, highly relevant review of Sucker Punch. A movie I managed to watch only when I spontaneously decided to walk into the nearest theater to see what movie I could catch. Using awesome math skillzx and the power of AVERAGING, we come to 7.25, rounded off to the nearest half point that is 7.5 which was the overall score mentioned at the very start. Yay!